Hey Dog Dad, Are You Out There?

This post goes out to all my single friends.
God bless us, everyone!
It’s a jungle out there in dating land.
______________________________

Take all the men on online dating sites (tens of thousands),

Remove those who can’t spell (now down to several thousand),

Block the guys whose pics include dead fish (what’s left? A couple thousand?),

And cars or camouflage (about a thousand left),

Select for those within my age range (500, give or take)

(No, I mean actual not wishful age; 400ish)

And those with dogs (352),

Find those who sound intelligent (300), curious (240), playful (180), and fun (138),

With pics that make me take a second look (100, give or take),

Including loving pictures of their dogs (80 or so),

Who also love the music I enjoy (70, or so),

And maybe even play those sounds (around 60),

Or have another artistic /creative side (still around 60),

And a professional career they enjoy that makes a difference (40ish),

Who write in ways that “Wow!” me (20, maybe, probably fewer),

And aren’t staunch conservatives (about a dozen),

And don’t want to procreate (an even 10),

With whom I share a silly sense of humor (around 8),

And point of view (half a dozen),

Who can cook tasty, healthy meals (4 or 5),

And are relatively unencumbered by past issues and relationships (okay, just 3),

Who make my heart go skip, skip, skip (that chemistry thing, ya know; 2),

And are unafraid to take some risks, in love and life,

And of all the men on online dating sites, hell, perhaps anywhere,

I’m left with

Just One.

You.

But -

Who are you?

Where are you?

And will we ever meet?

I’m looking. I’m hoping. I’m waiting….

And my dogs are too.

Advertisement